Quick answer: Consent is a clear, freely given and ongoing agreement that can be withdrawn at any time, and someone who is incapacitated can’t give it. On college campuses, nonconsensual contact is common: in a 2019 survey of 33 universities, 13% of all students and 26.4% of undergraduate women reported experiencing it since enrolling (AAU, 2019). Effective college prevention programs teach consent skills, train bystanders and connect students to confidential help.
College brings new freedom, new relationships and new social settings. It also brings risk. This guide is for students, parents of college-bound students and the staff who support them.
The scope of the problem
The Association of American Universities (AAU) surveyed 181,752 students at 33 schools in 2019. Key findings (AAU, 2019):
- 13.0% of all students reported nonconsensual sexual contact by physical force or inability to consent since enrolling.
- 26.4% of undergraduate women reported such an experience.
- Among the 21 schools that also took part in 2015, rates for undergraduate women rose by 3 percentage points.
These are not rare events. Prevention is part of a healthy campus.
What consent means
Consent is the foundation of every respectful relationship. A simple way to remember it:
- Clear: an enthusiastic, unmistakable “yes,” not silence or uncertainty.
- Freely given: no pressure, threats or guilt.
- Ongoing: agreeing to one thing doesn’t mean agreeing to everything, and it doesn’t carry over to next time.
- Reversible: anyone can change their mind at any time.
- Informed and capable: a person who is asleep, unconscious or incapacitated by alcohol or drugs cannot consent.
For a deeper look, read Consent Is Ongoing, and download our free Consent: A Plain-Language Explainer from our resources page.
Why “consent is a conversation”
Consent isn’t a single question at the start. It’s checking in throughout: “Is this okay?” “Are you comfortable?” “Do you want to take a break?” Respecting the answer, including “no” or “I’m not sure,” is part of it.
Phrases that make checking in natural
Checking in doesn’t have to feel awkward or clinical. Some students find it helpful to have a few phrases ready:
- “Are you comfortable with this?”
- “Do you want to take a break?”
- “We can stop anytime. Just tell me.”
- “How are you feeling right now?”
And phrases for saying no or slowing down:
- “I’m not ready for that.”
- “Let’s stop here.”
- “I’d rather just hang out tonight.”
Respond to a “no” with respect: “Okay, thanks for telling me.” A partner who sulks, pressures or keeps asking after a “no” is showing a warning sign. Healthy partners make it easy to speak up, and respecting someone’s answer builds the trust that makes relationships better.
Alcohol and consent
Alcohol is common in college social settings, and it can affect judgment and the ability to consent. If someone is too intoxicated to make decisions, they can’t give consent. When in doubt, don’t. Check on the person and get help if needed.
Bystander intervention: the 4 D’s
Many prevention programs teach bystanders to step in safely. CDC’s sexual violence prevention guidance highlights bystander approaches, citing programs such as Bringing in the Bystander and Green Dot, as strategies that promote protective social norms (CDC, STOP SV). A randomized trial of Green Dot in high schools found reductions in sexual violence perpetration and victimization during full implementation (CDC).
A common bystander framework uses four D’s:
- Direct: “Hey, are you okay?” or “That’s not cool.”
- Distract: interrupt the situation: spill a drink, ask for directions, start a conversation.
- Delegate: get help from a friend, an RA, a bartender, security or police.
- Delay: check in with the person afterward: “I saw what happened. Are you okay?”
Choose the option that keeps you safe, too.
What effective campus prevention programs include
Research and federal guidance point to a few key elements:
- Starting early. Skills built in middle and high school carry into college. CDC prevention guidance emphasizes teaching healthy relationship skills to young people before risk peaks (CDC, STOP SV).
- Ongoing education, not a one-time orientation. Multiple sessions reinforce skills.
- Bystander training that builds confidence to step in.
- Clear policies and confidential support that make it easier to seek help.
- Inclusive content that reflects every student’s experience.
Our Know Your Body, Know Your Rights program for grades 9–12 covers consent and relationships before students reach campus. Learn more on our programs page.
Help prevention start before college
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If something happened to you
It’s not your fault. You have options, and you don’t have to decide everything right away.
- Get to a safe place. Call 911 if you’re in danger.
- Talk to someone confidential. RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline is free and available 24/7: call 800-656-HOPE (4673), text HOPE to 64673, or chat at rainn.org (RAINN).
- Consider medical care. A hospital or clinic can provide care and, if you choose, a forensic exam.
- Know your campus resources. Most campuses have confidential counselors or advocates, plus a Title IX office that can explain your options.
How to support a friend
- Believe them. Say, “I believe you. It’s not your fault.”
- Listen without pushing for details.
- Let them decide what to do next.
- Share resources, like RAINN and campus advocates.
- Take care of yourself, too.
For parents of college-bound students
Talk about consent, alcohol and looking out for friends before move-in. Our post How to Explain Consent to a Child (and a Teen) offers age-by-age language. Students and parents can also ask questions privately with Dr Ed, our free AI health educator for ages 13+ (under 13 with a parent’s consent), at drsexed.ai.
Frequently asked questions
What is consent?
Consent is a clear, freely given, ongoing agreement that can be withdrawn at any time. Someone who is asleep, unconscious or incapacitated cannot give consent.
How common is sexual assault in college?
In the 2019 AAU survey of 33 universities, 13% of all students and 26.4% of undergraduate women reported nonconsensual sexual contact by force or inability to consent since enrolling.
What do college sexual assault prevention programs teach?
Effective programs teach consent and healthy relationship skills, train students to intervene as bystanders, explain campus policies, and connect students to confidential support.
What is bystander intervention?
It’s when someone who sees a potentially harmful situation steps in safely, for example by checking in directly, creating a distraction, getting help or following up afterward.
Where can I get confidential help after a sexual assault?
Call RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673), text HOPE to 64673, or chat at rainn.org, 24/7. Call 911 if you’re in immediate danger.
Can someone who has been drinking give consent?
If a person is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs, they cannot give consent. When in doubt, don’t proceed, and check that the person is safe.
Sources
- Association of American Universities. AAU Campus Climate Survey (2019). https://www.aau.edu/key-issues/campus-climate-and-safety/aau-campus-climate-survey-2019
- CDC. STOP SV: A Technical Package to Prevent Sexual Violence. 2016. https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/39126
- CDC Stacks. RCT Testing Bystander Effectiveness to Reduce Violence. https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/50582
- RAINN. National Sexual Assault Hotline. https://rainn.org/